No title in the many years

Today’s prompt from Kellie Elmore for her Free Write Friday is and interesting one, see below, and if you like, click the image to visit her blog, or to read what other writers have written.

My write today, plays at both heart and tears, so be gentle with any comments. I’ve written in a free, and minimal format, so as untidy as the piece of fiction is, I hope it still conveys something close to what the prompt asks for of the writer.

The subject is you. The prompt is you. Write using this quote as inspiration:luggage

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve MaraboliLife, the Truth, and Being Free

No title in the many years

For many years I’ve avoided going fishing, declined friends invitations, even walked away when no way out of having to be out fishing could be avoided. There is a reason for this though, it’s a story I can recollect in seconds, a story that weights heavy on life. We were both young, sixteen. We where out alone, fishing from a manmade seawall, laughing, joking telling stories, her name is not important here, for that is something between us, her family and friends.

My friend in her own style, with a hand cast reel stood higher up on the seawall, casting out, me, with rod and reel lower down, we were both on a bit of a high with life. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, what happened next. When I was casting I failed to notice her proximity to me had changed, as I cast our lines became tangled. In an instant (must of lost balance) she came hurtling down the face of the sea wall, I could hear her body collide with every rock along her short route to where she slipped in to the sea.

Reacting fast, slow, I’m not sure, time just seemed different. I retrieved my friend from the water. I carried her to the top of the sea wall, I did all I could to revive her, but lifeless, and limp my friend lay there. I cannot describe anymore than that as to how my friend looked, it’s not a place my mind wants to visit today. But my tears for her are always there.

I ran, or sprinted the two miles to her parents house, gasping for air every yard along the way, my legs collapsed as I knocked on the door. My friend’s mother greeted me, I spoke fast, out of breath, as she yelled “No, no!” and called to her father. I don’t remember a lot of what happened next, emergency services call, the drive back to the sea wall, life became a blur from that point on for awhile.

In the weeks that followed after her funeral, I heard how my friend had died, the coroner’s findings, along with the many rumours, so much of everything just seemed to make me feel alone, and lost without my friend.

It’s been a long time now, since that fatal day on the seawall, I have forgiven what past that fatal day, the lack of awareness to our lives , but I have not forgotten, I have not forgotten you my friend. Some days, they are a little awkward while moving forward, but the world is still a bright place out here, when I get to go fishing on occasions.

49 responses to “No title in the many years

  1. God, this is terrible Sean – I meant the story, not your writing. I can’t imagine the burden carried.

    I assume this is a “fiction” as mentioned in your preamble. I hope so very much it is fiction.

    Peace, Eric

    • Yes, it is fiction, Eric. After writing I could see the two friend characters could also be reversed to take a different perspective.
      Thanks, Eric, and peace, Sean.

  2. Reading this post has been poignantly heart-wrenching for me. You were able to deliver the story in its most realistic sense. I could almost feel the unimaginably traumatic emotions that ran through the protagonist-writer and the girl’s parents during the tragic event. The lesson remains compelling though, to forgive oneself for what happened.

    Sometimes, things happen in life that are beyond our comprehension.
    In the same vein, coping with loss is one of the most punishing tasks we have to face in life. But as I’ve learned over and over again, we could only manage to move on…because there is no other choice.
    Beautifully written, Sean. Thank you for sharing the story.

    • Thank you, Marj… Some lessons are harder than others in life. In writing the words I found that if I kept the story going in too much detail, then what I was searching for, might of become lost in a web of entanglement on connecting all the characters.

      The choices, moving on without a time-machine, though we can always reflect when we feel the need to explore forgiveness. Thanks again for partaking in a few comments.

      • Mr. Awesome, just want to let you know I left my reply to your gorgeous comment on my site. Thank you for your kindness, Sean. As well as for your amazing talent. Have a great day!

      • Thanks, Marj. On the poetry count, I am still an amateur, so I just experiment to find what I’m trying to create, and explore. I also play with cadence when writing poetry a fair bit too, and often find it helpful to vocalise aloud what I’m writing or thinking at the time. Like below.

        “Nothing like hearing the sounds, as they roll off the tip of your tongue. For it makes sense to hear what it sounds like, when both your heart and your ears have their drums (or beats).”

        Have fun writing!

      • I was thinking of the word “cadence”, too, as I was reading your comment to me this afternoon.
        You just came up with those enchanting words naturally. See what I mean? You are a beauty. And you make me feel giddy. hi hi…
        I’ll try to come up with one very soon.

      • They came flowing all at once, hardly a thought, for those few lines, Thanks, it’s hard to tell what poetry, or different poems mean, or evoke in a reader without having them say.

        How’s the writing going?

  3. Gosh. What a dreadful story – not the way you write it of course. Your words carried an emotional charge and it wasn’t until I read the comments that I realised it was fiction.

    • It is a shocking story, and though the story above is fiction, while writing the words, I called on three different life experiences of vastly different details to convey the tempo, and emotion of the piece.

      • Yes, I write fiction like that. I find it easier to write fiction that have some basis in reality than write about actual events. It’s a great release isn’t it.

      • Yes it is! Though it does get dark sometimes. I know, sometimes some events are not always best to share in a public forum.

  4. This hit my core, Sean. It’s a bitter tale conveyed in a powerful and engaging way. I just went back to check if it was indeed “fiction” as it was told from first person’s. You know just how to engage my emotions. I respect you for that and so much more!

    • See in my comment above to Suzanne, the story is fiction, but for me to write it, three different experiences guided its conditioning of the moments, and thoughts. Thanks, Uzoma, I respect where your writing takes me too.

    • Thanks, Dorothy! I feel I’ve written the last two FWF in reverse. Last week I took the fear and confusion of a storm and tornado, to close the piece in a calming way releasing fear. This week I took something calm, fishing, and took it through tragedy and despair in the piece then ending as close to calm as it could get. The two pieces feel like opposites, and yet while writing till the end, they both found a sense of calm. Just thinking. Thanks again…

    • Thanks, Kellie, I was not sure if was going to be too dark in it’s nature in connection with a recreation that is so calm for the most part. Thank you muchly!

    • Thanks, Sky… The places I went to write the piece, are difficult places to drop into, and then step out of again. That is probably why it seems so connected to a true experience. Thanks again..

    • Thanks, Gypsy!… of the free an open road, for stopping by, Whitney… It’s a bit of an experiment at times, but it has a few moments.

      • Actually, yes! I’m leaving for Barcelona in just a few days. It’s my favorite city in the world and I have been there in a number of years! There will definitely be posts on that as soon as I return. 🙂

      • One of my brothers, lives and works on Majorca, but often he is in Barcelona, as that’s where his girlfriend lives and works. Have a good time in Barcelona 🙂

      • If some of my paintings scare you it’s something to do with you and what’s going on in your life. Maybe it’s the stories you write. Maybe you see the stories in my paintings.
        It would be nice if you can write a story while looking at one of my paintings. Love to read it!
        And… you’re welcome Sean! 😉

      • Just scarey, not scared 🙂 I love their brash colours, for some of them I feel like I’m in a distant world. Yes, I see stories everywhere, and I find it fun to explore and experiment with how they manifest, transform, and evolve while writing too. Yes, I’d like to see what kind of story I can find in a painting or to of your art, will have to plan something for in the short future… Thanks, Erica!

      • We will do so, we will plan something. Tell me when you’re ready for it and I will send you a detail of my encaustic art or a whole part.
        Yes, I understand, I meant scarey. Whoops, sorry! 😉

  5. Sean, just between you and me (:-)), is this heart-rending beautifully written story really pure fiction? Because it sounds so real. I hope you don’t mind my asking this question.
    And why doesn’t it have a title after all these years?

    • Yes it is fiction. A few people have asked the fiction or not question above too, but the process to get there in my mind, to write it, I drew on different life experiences, and their nature.

      As the piece was a free write, I was able to come up with something for the end part of the title, but the first part I just had a mind freeze (a blank) at the time, so the marker for it stayed.

      • Dear Sean,
        In response to your message above, I’ve recently set up a new blog and I’ve come up with 3 poems so far. Nothing heavy though. I’m not a natural like you so I’ve no confidence yet in ‘showcasing’ them to you. In time, perhaps. 🙂
        I went online only this evening after being offline for 4 days. I had to force myself to lie low for a week and take a break from the Internet so I could attend to my jobs fully here. It provided more writing time for me, too.
        I saw your comment only now. My apologies. I’ll make it up to you. Promise. 😉

      • All good, Marj. 🙂 I’ve not been doing much during the week either, it got a little hectic. What are you calling the new blog?

        Nothing wrong with poetry that is light and fun… There’s only a few of mine that are heavy, and even then, some have a twitch of humour. Most are story, which is where I like writing most of the time.

        No rush, write more first 😉

  6. What I did was gather my most favorite words and phrases (I have many), developed them into something sensible and a bit comprehensible, then turned them into poetry. Yeah, basically that’s it. For a start.

    I’m forever your girl, Sean. Oh, I meant that was the title of my new blog 😉
    Please don’t take a look yet, or I’ll die. 😀

  7. Pingback: Short stories update | Sean Bidd·

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